T-Mobile

I have a first phone interview at t-mobile!

im pretty excited, i hope i get this.

its a great company, its who my phone is through,

i'd most likely move to redmond if i get this job

I dont know who reads this..

but i have a phone interview Wednesday oct 28th

at 3:30. so lost of prayer please!

thanks.

Silver Lining

My life has taken an unexpected turn.

I am no longer working at Wal~Mart.

I am going to start working at McDonalds down here in LaPine.

I did get offered a job at Macys, but this

job im taking seems to be the better one for now.

I wont have to drive far in the winter

except to visit my friends, i get more Hours than

I would have at Macys. and I'll be out of retail for the Holiday season.

I have made some mistakes these past few months, some if i could

i would gladly take back nothing that i am dwelling on t.

I have been brought down to rock bottom it feels

to reevaluate my life and to fully lean on God.

I am looking at my friendships

and seeing who my true friends are.

Looking at my future and the importance of my education.

so important, starting Winter term at COCC for

Associate of art transfer degree with the major of Pre-Vet

so i can be a vet technician. yay.

so excited about that.

as upset and melancholy as i have been about things

i am starting to see the silver lining in things, and

im starting to be happy again.

Frederick Buechner

"When you remember me, it means that you have carried something of who I am with you, that I have left some mark of who I am on who you are. It means that you can summon me back to your mind even though countless years and miles may stand between us. It means that if we meet again, you will know me. It means that even after I die, you can still see my face and hear my voice and speak to me in your heart. For as long as you remember me, I am never entirely lost. When I'm feeling most ghost-like, it is your remembering me that helps remind me that I actually exist. When I'm feeling sad, it's my consolation. When I'm feeling happy, it's part of why I feel that way. If you forget me, one of the ways I remember who I am will be gone. If you forget, part of who I am will be gone.”

"Your life and my life flow into each other as wave flows into wave, and unless there is peace and joy and freedom for you, there can be no real peace or joy or freedom for me. To see reality--not as we expect it to be but as it is--is to see that unless we live for each other and in and through each other, we do not really live very satisfactorily; that there can really be life only where there really is, in just this sense, love.”

"on the entire history of the universe, let alone in your own history, there has never been another day just like today, and there will never be another just like it again. Today is the point to which all your yesterdays have been leading since the hour of your birth. It is the point from which all your tomorrows will proceed until the hour of your death. If you were aware of how precious today is, you could hardly live through it. Unless you are aware of how precious it is, you can hardly be said to be living at all.”

Quotes

"There is no safe investment. To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket--safe, dark, motionless, airless--it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell."-C.S. Lewis

“We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'.”~Shall we dance

"Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art... It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things that give value to survival."

Overrated...

Being an adult is totally overrated.

Remember when you were a kid and your biggest worry was like... if you'd get a bike for your birthday or if you'd get to eat cookies for breakfast. Being an adult: TOTALLY overrated. I mean seriously, don't be fooled by the hot shoes and the boyfriends and no parents anywhere telling you what to do. Being an adult is responsibility. Responsibility really does suck. Really, REALLY sucks. Adults have to be places and do things and earn a living and pay the rent. Hello! Talk about responsibility! Kinda makes bikes and cookies look really really good, doesn't it? The scariest part about responsibility... When you screw up and let it slip right through your fingers. Responsibility. It really does suck. Unfortunately once you get past the age of braces and training bras, responsibility doesn't go away. It can't be avoided. Either someone makes us face it or we suffer the consequences. And still, adulthood has its perks. I mean the shoes, the boyfriends, the no parents anywhere telling you what to do... That's pretty damn good. ~Meredith Grey.

Last night my stinking car broke down on the parkway and the stupid battery died while i was waiting for Daniel to arrive to be my 'night and shining whatever' and rescue me. stupid car, stupid stupid car. There is an issue w her fuel pump, and some power issues and it idles badly she is probably going to die. OK no, i just have to pay to fix her up, which is another issue. Money. I have a good job and i can manage but its just so hard, if its not one thing it another and it usually involved money. i want to be able to go to school and pay my surgery bills and live on my own, but that all just seems like a distant far off dream. i still live with my parents (roommates parents) who i do love and appreciate, but i feel like Ive always been leaning on someone to take care of me and would like the opportunity to prove to myself that i can make it on my own, but that is just difficult and at this point doesn't seem like something i can do. and then there are the matters of the heart which is just another stupid issue that i cant even being to get into. i just what to go back when things were easy and i didn't have things to worry about and money wasn't an issue. ahhh the good ole' days. but we cant go back. so i am pushing forward. i am actually handling things pretty well i believe so that's good. I know that everything happens for a reason, i know that God has a plan, i know i do, its just so hard to see it sometimes.

IMPOSSIBLE

do you ever have those moments when you feel like its all just stinkin impossible. it seems like it is right now. i was planning on begining classes at COCC again this summer, i was pretty excited but then there is that stupid money thing. when i had my surgery my mother kept my medical bills and didnt give them to me for like 3 months so now on one bill i owe a large amount of money to by thursday so that i will be able to stay on the payment plan. and then she also will not file her taxes i will not get into that here, but because of that i am unable to apply for FAFSA and get financial aid. i emailed the financial aid advisor at COCC today and she said that without FAFSA i cant apply for any grants and most scholarships. i could apply for private scholarships if i find some. so yay me. roadblock after roadblock, i just dont understand. i cant figure it out. i dont know what to do. and last roadblock also, student loans require that you go to school for 12- 16 credits, with my job i cant take that many credits work and do well in the class i tried it was hard, i can manage 2 classes at time (which i like 6-8 )i think just with the course loads but i cant do more than that so a loan will also be difficult to do. and to top it off josephine (my stupid new car) seems to be starting to have issues with some starter thing which will be about $100 if not more. only good thing is i may be able to get rid of my old subaru soon, but i will only be getting like $100- $200 from her, which is definatly better than nothing its jsut sucks because of all the money i put into that silly car. ahhh my life. at least no matter what God is still faithful and good. the silver lining to it all i suppose.

Josephine

Josephine is the name of my new

lovely car.

Daniel named her .

it fits i think.

:-)